1.
Rapid Eye Movement
The redundancy has started getting to me
Incentivizing making it through the day
Maybe that’s why I’ve started to like sleep
Maybe that’s why I’ve stopped getting much.
Tied my self worth to attainable things
And achievable things
Take hits of it like a drug.
Want to find the me that went forward
And buried my happiness
In pieces
In future events and places.
Want to find her and ask her:
When does this end?
Is it worth anything?
Is anything worth it?
The redundancy has started getting to me.
Incentivizing making it through every single day.
Maybe that’s why I’ve started liking sleep.
Maybe that’s why I’ve stopped getting much.
2.
Fall Through
I don’t let me hate myself
Even for a second
Because if i start
It will be so easy to keep going.
I feel everything with a sharp volatility
It burns me like
acid from the inside out.
So I don’t let me hate myself.
Because nothing will be able to save me then.
3.
blood/scar
I cut myself
To let you see
The colour of my blood
I did it with willingness
and so the skin closed itself
without a scar
But then you cut me
in the same spot
(Because you decided you had a taste for my blood)
And made me bleed
again
And I could not let myself forgive you
I will always bear the scar.
Written: 15.2.2020
Posted: 27.4.2020